I am 45 this year. Time moves quicker the older I get, do you feel that? I have found my journey is somewhat unique to my peers, largely due to my children being such a vast array of ages, 10, 15 and 25. The truth is, we all are dealing with life changing times, much beyond our control, and some within.
Jason and I have generally always been the youngest of our friends (with the oldest son). This has meant that we have experienced parenting very differently to our friends. Since the advent of the contraceptive pill (1960's it became readily available), women have started choosing to have children older and older. That single pill has had profound implications on the choices we have as women today, (A deep philosophical conversation can be had at a different time :)
Perhaps its because I was younger than my friends, perhaps it is still a bit taboo, but I have found conversations around a woman's changing body simply ignored? Have you had conversations about women's health with other women, or even our partners? I want to open up that conversation now. I do think a lot of women may be afraid of the topic as it means accepting we are getting older and our bodies are changing. It is still shocking to me sometimes how differently a man and a woman of the same age will be treated (classic recent examples shown in the latest movies on Netflix relating to older women with younger lovers). I am personally not to afraid of aging and all that comes with it, but I have also felt more valued for my mind with less attention on my body, I do believe that has a big role to play - as I age, I gain in confidence for that reason. Our role as women is no longer defined by our ability to birth children and be a Mom, but so much more than that.
I had my first child at 20 years old. This was unplanned, frowned upon and taboo. I may have experience a wide variety of deeply personal and social complications from that experience, but there is no doubt it changed me profoundly, as well as the trajectory of my life. I do not wish that experience on my children, but very aware that, as with any life challenge, they make us who we are, it did make me a better person. Most my friends of my age then, had no idea of my struggles, honestly, many didn't care, they where young and having fun. This meant our closer friends where much older, as we could relate far better. As I got older and we had our daughter and with that, met a new generation of parents, and friends. Then our son, now 10, and we finally feel like we fit in a lot better.
In my experience it has become evident that women have there kids a lot older than my Mom, I was an exception to my peers. Its crazy to think in 1980 women where having their first child on average at 24 years old, now it early 30's, with education being one of the most obvious correlations with more educated woman having there first child later. At 35 you had been considered to have a "geriatric pregnancy" in gynae terms - thank heavens that term has been phased out! What cannot be disputed though, is that it does become harder to conceive and birth children the older you get, with it becoming notably more prevalent to have some kind of assistance, fertility medication or IVF in our first world counties and cities. When it comes to the conversation of having children, no question - I count myself lucky to have had it easy. It is not always easy, or even a choice for some.
When it comes to aging, one thing women cannot wish away is menopause. Unlike a period, it is a far less predictable timetable and every woman seems to have a unique experience.
I am no expert on menopause, but I am curious and always want to be as prepared as I can be, proactive rather than reactive. So I have been listening to various podcasts and conversations from women and experts alike. What is your experience?
What are the basic facts of Menopause?
It is defined as:
"the time that marks the end of your menstrual cycles,
diagnosed after 12 months without a menstral period"
It starts usually between 45 and 55 years of age, with a mean age of 51 in the U.S.
Menopause before the age of 40 is rare and called premature menopause. Approximately 5% of woman have early menopause before 45 years old.
It is caused by a women's ovaries no longer make oestradiol (the most potent type of oestrogen) and stops releasing egg s. This has a cascade effect on many bodily structures as do any hormone changes.
the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause vary vastly as do that effects of hormones and bodily processes. Some symptoms include hot flashes, dryness, sleep disturbances, hair loss, mood change, anxiety and depression.
The hormone replacement therapy (HRT) debate:
Ok, I will be honest, this is a tough one. Heavens, the research is not easy to follow, not very consistent with little conclusive knowledge and facts.
What do I know from what I have listened to or read?
Every woman is different, so you need to have a good relationship with your doctor.
One size does NOT fit all
Hormone therapy today is VASTLY better than 40 years ago, thank heavens!
Research is improving, understanding is improving but because any hormone intervention effects will take time, time is needed to evaluate consequences
Suffering in silence IS NOT the answer. Hormone therapy does work and it works well. Todays medication is more specific, lower and more specific in dose and risks.
Now referred to as Menopausal hormone therapy.
What does research say is the most effective NON-medication management option for menopausal symptoms?
Exercise - not only has it been shown to improve quality of life, it improve bone density and reduced hot flushes
Maintain a healthy weight and diet - menopause is associated with abdominal weight gain and good healthy habits are associated with decreased metabolic side effects of menopause
Quit smoking - some studies have shown that smoking is associated with early menopause
Reduce alcohol - increased alcohol consumption has been associated with increased risk of hot flashes and breast cancer
Calcium and vitamin D supplements for bone health
Women's health as a topic is huge, with our bodies going through a huge amount of changes. Here, I wanted to start a conversation, so I shared some of mine. What have you been through? Lets not make this taboo, lets talk to each other, support each other and most importantly listen to each other. One way or another, we all go through these phases of life, each journey looks different but letting go of old stigma's and the taboo's of our parent's generation can only help us be better women.
Comments